Home Birth After Cesarean Story

I woke up on a Thursday morning at 4:30 AM with an achy/sore feeling from my lower abdomen all the way through my legs. I was so uncomfortable that I could not go back to sleep. It was a feeling that I had felt once or twice before in the weeks prior, so I wasn’t sure if it would lead to labor this time around. After about an hour, I began to doze off again, when suddenly I woke up to the first wave sensation around 6:00 AM. I wondered to myself, “Did I just feel what I think I felt? Am I imagining things?” After several minutes, I felt another wave so I decided to start timing them. The first few waves were about 15 minutes apart but suddenly they began averaging 5 minutes apart! I woke up my husband and said “I think I’m in labor,” and then explained to him what I had been feeling. He had gone to bed late the night before, and I was still in a bit of denial, so I told him to stay in bed and I would let him know if the sensations persisted. I texted my aunt who planned on joining us to take some photos and help watch our toddler. She lives about an hour away so I wanted her to prepare to head over. After a few more waves, I decided to text my midwife again who lives about 10-15 minutes away. I wasn’t ready for her to head over but I wanted her to be prepared to block off her day. After informing everyone on my birth team about how labor was progressing, I went to the kitchen to have a snack because I was hungry and wanted to fuel up in case this was indeed the real deal. I had coconut yogurt with chia seeds, some dates, and toast with raspberry jam. After I was done eating, I put on my Sade playlist and placed my stockpile of coconut water in the refrigerator to cool down as I worked through contractions. 

The sensations commenced at a consistent pace, so by 6:30 AM I woke up my husband again. He quickly got up and we began preparing- he did some dishes and charged the vlog camera while I gathered towels and breathed through each wave. Before 7:00 AM hit, the sensations were averaging 2-3 minutes apart. Somehow, part of me was still in denial that I was in labor because the contractions felt so manageable. I texted my aunt, “I’m not sure if you should head over. I’m gonna feel bad if it’s a false alarm.” Then, by 7:50 AM I told her to definitely head over. At the same time, I was also keeping my midwife in the loop and she offered to come by whenever I felt ready for her support and presence. She asked that I keep her updated when I feel a shift in intensity. At 8:00 AM I told my midwife that I felt good still but things were definitely taking a turn. I went poop and had three contractions while sitting on the toilet (sitting on the toilet can help dilation and bring the baby down a.k.a. the dilation station). I let her know that I was beginning to vocalize and my hands felt tingly. My son woke up shortly after and I immediately told him, “Baby is coming today!” He jumped out of bed and was so excited. We had done a lot of prep work throughout the months- watching home birth vlogs daily on YouTube, bought him a baby doll, and spoke about the baby in my belly. My husband went out to walk the dog while I labored on all fours with my birth ball. My husband and I both wanted to shower before my midwife came over so I asked her to leave in 10-15 minutes. I got into the shower by 8:30 AM and remember thinking- THANK GOODNESS I ASKED HER TO HEAD OVER- because things were getting intense. As I showered, I began to shed some tears. I wasn’t crying from the pain but more so from the realization that this was finally happening. My denial began to subside and I accepted that I was going to finally meet my baby and have the home birth I always wanted. I cried on and off for some time and it felt good to release and sit in those emotions. My midwife arrived at 8:50 AM. I cried a little more as I hugged her. She knew how badly I wanted this experience for myself and my family. We did so much work together over the months to get to that point and I felt happy and relieved that the day was finally here. I was also feeling very grateful that she was going to be the one there to help guide me through the experience. 

I texted my aunt around 9:15 AM asking how far she was. She said she was on the Bay Bridge and would arrive by 9:45 AM. We took some final baby belly photos and continued setting up the house. She got there just in time! My wave sensations were intensifying more and I wanted to get in the tub for some water relief. I had contemplated for my entire pregnancy as to whether or not I would get a birth tub but ultimately decided not to. Although my first labor ended in a c-section delivery, I was fully dilated within a few short hours and knew that statistically second babies come faster. I was worried that I would spend $200-$300 on a birth tub and not have time to set it up or use it. So instead we used the bathtub in our apartment. I had a blow-up pool pillow which helped keep my head and neck comfortable as I submerged my body into the water. The water helped a bit but because my belly wasn’t fully submerged I thought to myself, “I wish I got the birth tub!” My contractions spread out for some time and it was the first break I had for hours. I asked my midwife if it was okay that this was happening even though I knew many times this was normal before the end of labor. She assured me that it was and I just relaxed. I stayed in the water for a while, but once the water became cool, I got out to labor in the bedroom. 

After getting out of the tub, I leaned on my knees against the bed. A gush of blood came out and shortly after my water broke at 10:25 AM. I was looking down between my legs as my waters released and I saw it happen which was pretty cool! It was a strong stream of liquid but not as much as I thought it would be. After my water broke, I continued to lose some blood. My husband looked a little worried and my midwife had a pensive expression as she was trying to understand where the blood was coming from. I knew that losing some blood was normal but it seemed to be more than we all expected. I thought to myself, “If I have to transfer to the hospital for a hemorrhage after doing all this work- I’m going to be pissed!” I looked up at my husband who was standing across the room and said, “You look worried,” He enthusiastically responded, “No! I’m not worried,” and jumped across the bed to be by my side. I knew he was lying but it still brought me some comfort, lol. My midwife continued to keep an eye on the blood and said she wasn’t worried but just serious as ensured it was in normal range.

My labor intensified even more after my water broke. I became so uncomfortable and kept trying different positions. I got onto the bed and tried laying on my side but I wanted my legs spread and said “I wish I had a peanut ball.” My midwife immediately suggested putting the stack of towels we had set aside in between my legs. This helped me keep my legs open while also allowing them to rest. I turned from the left to the right and couldn’t find comfort. I tried laying on all fours on top of the bed with three pillows under my chest. I exclaimed, “I’m so uncomfortable!” I went back onto the floor when I said, “I’m fucking crazy for wanting this!” and “I don’t wanna do this anymore!” I was so ready to be done with the process and bring my baby earthside. I couldn’t imagine laboring at this intensity for several more hours. Deep down, I knew this meant that I was likely in transition and the end was near. My midwife suggested trying out the birth stool to bring the baby down faster. I had always been curious about birth stools but at that moment I was not a fan… I asked to get back into the tub and as we were filling it up, my husband and I stood outside the bathroom door and hugged. For the majority of my labor, I did not want to be touched during contractions. I had wondered if I would want counter pressure, etc. but instead, I wanted space and requested things like water and coconut water in between waves. This was one of the first moments where I really felt like I needed to be held by him. His embrace during those moments gave me the strength and encouragement I needed to keep going. 

Once I got back into the tub we were in the final stretch. I tried laying on my sides as I did earlier but it did not bring relief this time. I looked at my midwife and asked her to talk to me. I needed extra support and encouragement in the last stages. She quickly jumped to be by my side, held my hand, caressed my hair, and reassured me that my body was working hard to bring my baby earthside. I went on all fours and bellowed through each contraction as I clenched a comb. The comb method did not distract me from the pain, but it did help me feel like I could channel my energy and power in a more purposeful way. My midwife provided perineum support, when needed, as my husband stood nearby filming. My midwife mentioned seeing the baby’s head and I responded, “I FEEL IT!” Moments later, I let out a huge burp which was powerful and hilarious in the moment. During previous sessions with my midwife, she had explained that burping can actually act as an emotional release. I’ve always been a big burper so this was very fitting. Shortly after my big burp, I felt the ring of fire and my baby’s head *finally* coming down. I rocked my hips forward and backward as I exclaimed, “AAAHHH FUUUCCCK!” At that moment, it was euphoric and such a relief. I knew we were down to the last moments and I was so excited. The ring of fire didn’t last as long or burn as much as I thought it would, but it was definitely noticeable. I let out a guttural, “OH MY GODDD!” and we began to drain the water in the tub. She signaled to my husband to switch places so he could catch the baby as they emerged. I groaned, “Oooh!” as their head came out. Baby began crying before they were fully earthside (which is unusual) and I said to them, “Hi baby, we’re almost there! We’re almost there baby.” Two more pushes and baby came straight out with their arms crossed, covered in vernix and blood, caught by their daddy at 11:12 AM (after about 40 minutes of pushing). “Love and Happiness” by Al Green played in the background and my husband exclaimed with tears of joy and relief, “They’re here baby. They’re here baby. It’s a baby girl!” and I responded, “Awww, I told you it was a girl!” She let out a strong cry and I said, “Hi, my sweet girl!” as I cried. Then, I flipped my leg over her head to hold her. I tried pulling her up to my chest but the cord was still attached and wouldn’t reach past my breasts. Once she was in my arms her crying subsided. I asked if she needed suction because she was gurgling a bit of blood. My midwife said “no” likely because she had already cried, was alert, and had a good tone. I requested that my aunt and son come in to meet her immediately. They came in, said a short hello right after she was born, and then went back to another room to play. We stayed in the tub for a few more minutes, as I caught my breath, and then I was ready to get out. My midwife quickly began to facilitate our exit. When I began to stand up my placenta plopped straight out and we both began to laugh. It had only been 4 minutes so we didn’t expect it! I was so happy that it came out quickly and easily. She mentioned that the bleeding during labor may have been from the placenta slowly separating earlier on. She also later explained that our baby didn’t do the typical external rotation she sees and how this was unique and likely due to having a wide pelvis. She suspected this in earlier visits and said it could be why I have had faster labors with both my babies. 

After bringing my baby earthside, I laid on the bed and didn’t feel that well. My labor and baby’s delivery took everything out of me physically. I was sweating and exhausted from exerting so much energy since the early morning. I had also lost a decent amount of blood which took an extra toll on me, even though it was still in the range of normal. I was in some pain afterward and went in between feeling hot and cold with mild shakes. To re-fuel, I had a raspberry popsicle, hot tea, and beef stew that I had prepared as a freezer meal. Then I took a short shower and felt much better. I felt a little guilty that I couldn’t just lay down and hold my baby, but I needed to tend to myself so that I could spend quality time with her later. Her daddy held her skin-to-skin on his chest as she slept. I am not big on taking pain medication but decided to take some to ease the discomfort, that way I could really relax and finally spend some quality time with my brand-new baby girl! As I lay beside her, I asked my husband, “Should we still name her Soleia?” and he said, “Yes, of course!” Our sunshine girl was born during a heatwave, on the hottest day that week, and the name suits her perfectly. 

We left her placenta attached for three hours (a partial lotus birth) until the cord turned white and stopped pulsing completely. Her placenta was in the shape of a heart and also had a Marginal Cord Insertion which was not caught during her 20-week anatomy scan. My son had a Velamentous Cord Insertion which is similar but more extreme. It’s not common for this to happen in general, but especially for consecutive pregnancies. I was surprised at the similarity and relieved that it wasn’t a stress factor during my second pregnancy. 

So many aspects of my second labor reminded me of my first (prior to surgery). From the exact same gestation (at 38 weeks + 3 days) to the speed at which my contractions progressed. I’m grateful to have had the support I wanted and needed this time around. The midwife we chose was the perfect fit for our family. I have so much love for her and the way she practices and holds space for birthing women. I dreamt of a natural birth my entire life and it was amazing to have had one in my own home with an intimate birth team. Even though it was extremely intense, I remember that day fondly and wish I could experience it all over again. There were so many funny, poetic, and synchronistic moments from Soleia’s birth that I will cherish for a lifetime and will be forever thankful to have experienced.

The Reality of Breastfeeding for 2 Years and How I Navigated the Highs and Lows

World Breastfeeding Week was August 1st-7th and while I didn’t have a chance to talk about my journey during that timeframe, I did still want to take a moment to discuss the subject. Breastfeeding was really important to me as a mom. I always knew that it was something I would pursue and had an initial goal of 6-12 months minimum. Just like anyone else, my journey had its unique ups and downs. While I was fully dedicated to making it work and fighting through the hardships, it shed new light on my perspective, and I began to understand why many parents choose not to do so. I am very proud that I was able to breastfeed my son for 23 months (and 17 weeks into my second pregnancy). While we faced some speed bumps along the way, I am ultimately grateful that I had an abundance of milk, and that we were able to work through the challenges. 

As a c-section mom, the beginning of our journey was an uphill battle. I was nauseous and could barely sit up which limited the comfortable positions I was able to utilize during those crucial golden hours. I put all that aside and requested immediate skin-to-skin as I was being stitched up and latched my son as soon as I got to the recovery room. I had no idea what I was doing, but knew that these initial steps were imperative for establishing our breastfeeding relationship. I had colostrum come in during our hospital stay, but my mature milk took 5 days to come in, which is common after a surgical delivery for a variety of reasons. 

Our first speedbump happened when my son was not regaining his birth weight “fast enough” (according to the birth center midwives who were in charge of our in-home aftercare). I believe this happened for a combination of reasons. First, my milk took nearly a week to come in and second I was using a Haakaa way too soon. I was excited and eager to create a freezer stash but didn’t realize that my son needed the milk upfront those first 3-4 weeks. Next, something that I feel was not taken into consideration was that as a c-section baby, my son’s birth weight may not have been his true weight. Babies born via c-section do not pass through the vaginal canal which means they are not squeezed the same way to release some of the extra fluids they retain during their time in the womb. I later learned that this should have been taken into account, but since the midwives were more familiar with vaginal births they may not have been aware of this detail. At first, I didn’t personally feel worried because I had a strong letdown with plenty of milk, but received a lot of pressure to supplement his feeds. I used my freezer stash to supplement with tube feeds at the breast which helped him regain the weight faster. It all worked out in the end, but it was a stressful and anxiety-inducing few weeks.

The next thing I struggled with was feeling certain that he had a proper latch and whether or not the nipple pain I experienced was normal. I asked lots of people (doctors, midwives, lactation consultants) to check him for oral ties and everyone I encountered assured me that he did not. However, with time I knew something wasn’t quite right. I could tell that he was more comfortable on one side. One of my nipples looked like a flat lipstick after feeds and began cracking and bleeding. Then later, the other side developed a bleb. Something that was pounded into my brain during pregnancy was to hire a lactation consultant that could come to our home. However, it was extremely expensive and not something we could afford at the time. I met with a lactation consultant in the hospital before we were discharged (who I was not fond of). And I was able to set up a virtual meeting with a second one who was also hospital-based, but it took several weeks, and she didn’t teach me much that I hadn’t acquired through my own research and practice as I waited for the appointment. I followed a lot of educational accounts on Instagram and TikTok where I learned about latching, positioning, and milk storage. Nursing became more manageable as he grew and we practiced, but I still felt that something was a little off with his latch. I began to notice that he favored one side when he was sleeping and eventually learned about torticollis. We took him to the chiropractor and tried some delicate stretches to help relax his neck muscles. I wish I knew to look out for this sooner because it would have made a world of difference in those first few weeks. 

As time went on, my worries about his latch and weight gain subsided. However, I struggled with my mental and emotional health. On top of processing an unwanted/unnecessary surgery and almost no village or outside help, I hadn’t slept well in months. As a newborn, my son slept for 4-5 hour stretches and eventually through the night. However, by 3.5 months old he was back to eating every 1-3 hours. I remember having a breakdown when he was around 8-9 months old because I was so exhausted and touched out. He continued eating through the night at least once or twice until he was 19 months old. Part of me wanted to quit way before the 1-year mark, but I just didn’t feel we were quite ready and I was dedicated to keep working through it. Once he began sleeping longer stretches again, I was only feeding for naps and bedtime which was a huge relief. Managing a lack of sleep was so hard, but I also knew that this was biologically normal for infants and toddlers. I prioritized tending to his needs whether they were hunger, thirst, or comfort because I knew it was temporary.

I know that the majority of this post was filled with sharing my hardships but I feel that they are important to acknowledge. So many people exclusively glorify or demonize breastfeeding, and while there is so much beauty in it, there are valid reasons why people struggle with it. I feel it’s important to recognize the full picture. You can be completely dedicated to your breastfeeding journey and still struggle with aspects of it because it’s fucking hard! According to the CDC, “Among infants born in 2019, most (83.2%) started out receiving some breast milk […] At 6 months […] 24.9% received breast milk exclusively.” There are hundreds of reasons why the majority of families start off breastfeeding at birth but are not able to sustain the relationship in the following months. The biggest reasons are lack of support and education. Breastfeeding takes a huge toll on caregivers. Many parents are forced to go back to work 6-8 weeks postpartum and their bodies are not receptive to pumping. Many moms are not properly supported by the baby’s father. Villages are no longer the norm when raising a family. Lactation consultants are not created equally in terms of skill/experience and many times are unaffordable when not covered by insurance. While people say “breastfeeding is free” the reality is that it’s not- it takes the same amount of time as a full-time job (1,800 hours on average the first year) and the hunger you have is insatiable. Your time is valuable and food costs money! The list goes on… We may encounter speedbumps along the way but it’s possible to work through them if we prepare for the variety of scenarios that we may face- granted that breastfeeding is something a person desires.

This will be an unpopular opinion, but what helped me fight through the hardships was that I viewed breastfeeding as the only choice. Despite the challenges I faced, I kept educating myself and was blessed with an oversupply, which helped me persevere. I was even able to create an entire freezer stash without pumping- simply using the Elvie Curve at every feed (once my son’s weight was established and blossoming). While an oversupply isn’t the norm, having a true low supply is also very uncommon. Breastmilk is primarily established by supply and demand, but feeds can be hindered by undiagnosed ties or tension in the baby’s body which I wish more people knew. So many people are pressured into formula feeding before they are truly ready to give up instead of receiving adequate support from providers or their loved ones.

I feel it’s important to share these details of my journey because as an outsider it would be safe to assume that someone who breastfed for nearly two years may have had it easy when that was not the case at all. Regardless of how hard it was at times, I am so grateful that I was able to do it. Breastfeeding helped my son and I bond after a challenging birth. It forced us to have that closeness, constant skin-to-skin, and to learn how to work as a team. He was the chunkiest baby and is such a healthy toddler. I would do it all again for him and for us. And I plan to do the same with our next babe. Just like every pregnancy, each breastfeeding journey is different. I am sure certain aspects will be easier and other aspects will be harder during my second journey. But I am ready and so much more prepared this time. 

As I conclude this post, I want to leave you with a list of resources that I find super valuable in the breastfeeding world below. I’m sending you so much love and compassion regardless of how you choose to nourish your baby. I hope that sharing my multifaceted experience can help you better prepare for the layered journey breastfeeding can be.

1. La Leche League

2. The Thompson Method

3. Kelly Mom

4. Hilary Jacobson Mother Food

Reflecting on Our Birth Story During C-Section Awareness Month

April is c-section awareness month. I had a c-section nearly two years ago and as someone who has been passionate about natural birth since childhood, it has been challenging to navigate my complicated feelings surrounding our birth story. It is a day I replay over and over again in my mind almost daily. Something that I don’t think I’ve shared here before is that growing up, I wanted to be an OBGYN so that I could help people bring their babies into the world. I was obsessed with babies from a very young age, and my passion for natural birth remains now, and continues to grow each day. I honestly think that I may have been a midwife in a past life, and had I known about traditional midwifery sooner, that likely would have been my career preference- opposed to the hospital model. While I have not pursued either of those fields, I do believe there is still time to enter the birthing space professionally in my lifetime. My layered pregnancy and birth story make me want to even more, so that I can potentially help others advocate for their birth preferences and enter parenthood/postpartum more seamlessly.

Deep down, I always knew that I wanted a home birth, but for our first baby we settled on a birth center that was not connected to a hospital because it was more affordable. I thought to myself, “a midwife is a midwife” and didn’t realize the vast differences between a highly medicalized midwife and a traditional midwife. At the time, a home birth seemed so unattainable from a financial standpoint and looking back, it’s something that I wish I had researched more and fought harder for. I do feel things would have been handled a lot differently if I worked with an independent midwife. While the birth center was not connected to a hospital, and for the most part respected my personal choices, they still did a lot of things the way a hospital-based practice would. It was really important for the birth center to maintain a positive relationship with the hospitals and doctors they partnered with for co-care or transfers, which I realize now was a priority for how they handled their protocols. One thing I really resent being told by one of the midwives at the birth center in the weeks leading up to my son’s birth, was that if I didn’t do things a certain way, I was basically “choosing a c-section”. Looking back, I feel that I was being groomed to conform to the system rather than being respected as an individual who was capable of making informed choices.

It was recommended that I get a third trimester growth scan via ultrasound at the hospital due to having a Velamentous Cord Insertion which can sometimes cause a growth restriction. That is when it was discovered that my son was breech at 32 weeks and 5 days. In California, midwives are not legally allowed to catch a breech baby unless it is a “surprise”. Everyone I encountered said that I still had plenty of time and reassured me that there was a chance of getting him to turn head down. However, it didn’t happen despite doing all the things people recommend: spinning babies, acupuncture, moxibustion, Webster Certified chiropractor, failed ECV, fear release, inversions in a swimming pool, prenatal massage, etc. I went into a speedy labor at 38 weeks and 3 days while home alone. I was fully dilated within a few short hours and upon hospital arrival my son was eager to come out. Had he been head down, I would have been applauded and welcomed with open arms. However, he was still breech and I was met with fear, coercion, and isolation tactics. I was separated from my then fiancé (now husband) and they refused to let my doula in (even though during this time doulas were allowed in delivery rooms #pandemicbabies). I refused surgery repeatedly in between intense contractions. I didn’t feel that I needed it. My baby was coming FAST and typically when this is the case, all is well. All the doctors in the room were also trained in vaginal breech birth. I did my research, I knew the risks, I trusted my body and my baby. But the doctors were consumed with hospital protocols and policies. They chose to ignore their breech training and didn’t practice informed consent. Instead, they yelled in my face and beat me down mentally and emotionally until I gave into their preferred method for breech presentation- a c-section.

In the words of Flor Cruz from Bad Ass Mother Birther, “The overuse of cesareans has cheapened its value to just a ‘routine procedure’ rather than the life saving surgery that it’s intended to be.” In my opinion, my surgery was completely unnecessary. The doctors chose not to embrace their breech training and instead used fear and coercion to get their way. They did not honor physiological birth or my choices as an informed mother. As I mentioned earlier, I think about our birth story almost every day. As I replay it in my mind, I wonder: How could things have been different? Why didn’t I do THIS or say THAT? Why did this happen to me as a person who is not afraid of natural birth? Why didn’t I just tune them out and go within? The truth is, I don’t have the answers to these questions yet- and I’m not sure if I ever will. One thing I do know is that I didn’t fail, the system worked against me and took advantage of one of the most vulnerable moments of my life. I did EVERYTHING I could down to the last moments and all I can do now is thank myself for that. I fought hard for myself and my baby in one of the most intimate, personal, and challenging moments of my life.

What I want people to become aware of this month is that many c-sections are in fact unnecessary. Hospitals should not have c-section rates of 20-30% +. C-sections come with their own risks, can impact your personal health, as well as all future pregnancies and deliveries. Inductions and a variety of other interventions highly raise your chance of an unnecessary c-section. And your providers can make or break your birth. Don’t settle for just “anyone”. I thought to myself, “It doesn’t matter what provider I get. I know my rights, the facts, and I believe in my body and my baby.” But despite all of this, they still got to me in the end. Do your best to follow your intuition and not make choices out of other people’s fears- whether it’s your provider or your loved ones. Do your research, explore your options, and fight hard for what you deserve. Giving birth is one of the most delicate and fiercest moments of your life and it’s a day (or days) you’ll never forget. Remember that there are cases where a c-section is truly necessary (transverse positioning, cord prolapse, vasa previa, placental abruption, placenta accreta, etc.) but be weary of providers who pressure you into interventions you’re not interested in when there is no true medical need. This is your body, your baby, and they ultimately work for you. They are not authoritative figures over you despite how they make you feel. Your individual choices should be respected because every body, baby, and pregnancy is unique. The way we birth matters, your voice matters, your intuition matters, your informed choices matter, and those factors should ultimately be the deciding factor of any decision we make during pregnancy and labor. 

10 Breastfeeding Tips for Beginners

As a first time mom, I learned so much about breastfeeding this past month. Immediately after giving birth via c-section, I got my baby latched, but I had no idea what I was doing! Today, I’m sharing 10 tips that have helped me the most in my journey so far.

1. It’s important to get baby latched as soon as possible after giving birth. Some people are able to do the breast crawl but since I had a c-section it was too painful for me. However, I did ensure that I wasn’t put to sleep for the c-section because I wanted immediate skin-to-skin for golden hour so that we could bond and breastfeed right away. I had no idea what I was doing and I was shaking a lot from all the medication and adrenaline post-surgery, but I had the nurses help prop me up so I could get baby on the boob during that crucial time. Luckily, he was interested and latched quickly which isn’t always the case.

2. The first 2-2.5 are the roughest! Your nipples will be sore and raw but push through it. With that being said, it shouldn’t be painful. Once baby is latched after a few seconds, it should feel like firm but gentle tugging and not sharp pinching. In the beginning, your nipples will likely hurt with a good latch anyway because your skin is sensitive and getting used to it, but they shouldn’t feel pinched.

3. Make sure you have some cooling gels and good nipple balm to use in between feeds. I used Medela Lanolin the first few days then switched to Earth Mama Nipple Butter. I also have Motherlove Nipple Cream on-hand as well which I plan on using once I’m done with Earth Mama. It’s important to get something that will be moisturizing and healing for your tender nipples that also doesn’t need to be wiped off before feeding baby because your nipples are already going to feel very sensitive and you’ll want to minimize how much you touch them.

4. Your nipples and baby’s mouth can get a yeast infection! Change your breast pads often to prevent thrush from growing. I have a lot of milk and leak quite a bit, so I go through a few sets per day. I prefer reusable ones and go through 2-3 per day. I also have disposable ones handy for wash days or for when I’m out and about.

5. Cross cradle is one of my go-to feeding positions. To ensure a good latch for this position, first check to see that baby’s body is flat against you. Then, point your nipple towards their nose and wait until they open wide. Support their neck then gently, but swiftly help them latch on before they narrow their mouth.

6. If your breastfeeding pillow is not tall enough, use additional pillows to prop up the sides to better support your arms and baby. I have the Boppy which isn’t really tall enough on its own for me, but my midwives later suggested “My Breast Friend” as a better option.

7. Wait to give your baby a bottle or pacifier until you’ve established a good breastfeeding relationship at around 3-4 weeks. This will give baby time to get used to your natural nipple first, ensure you’re able to establish a good milk supply, and get your technique down.

8. A mistake I made was using a Haakaa to catch my milk too early, which took away from my baby’s nutrients and slowed down his weight gain because I was freezing it. Wait to catch your milk with suction or breast pump until baby regains their birth weight. I had to supplement with the freezer stash I created because he wasn’t gaining weight fast enough and he would have benefited more from having the milk upfront.

9. A lactation consultant told me that your supply is highest between 6-8 AM. She suggested that as the best time to pump. Instead of using my pump, I use my Haakaa at this time since my baby usually falls back asleep before my boobs are “empty”. I recently was able to get 2 ounces of milk for his evening bottle which felt like a huge success! An alternative option is pumping for 10-15 minutes on each side 2-3 times a day after a feed. 

10. Feeding sessions can take up to an hour at times. Be sure to get settled in and comfortable before getting started. Use the restroom, get some water, a snack, and have your phone, a book, or the remote handy to help pass the time.

I’m by no means an expert and still learning, but these are some key factors that have helped me a lot my first month. I hope this insight makes your journey into breastfeeding a bit smoother! Linking some of my favorite breastfeeding accessories below*

1. Reusable Breast Pads (My go-to leak protection. I love the shape, that they’re thin, and still work well!)

2. Nipple Butter (Apply generously in between feedings.)

3. Nursing Bra (My top choice out of all the nursing bras I own. Debating on purchasing a second set because I go through a new bra every 1-2 days. If you’re in between sizes, I recommend sizing up. I wear a medium.)

4. Haakaa (I prefer this style over other ones on the market that I’ve tried. I recommend having several handy!)

5. Disposable Pads (These are great for wash days or when I’m out and about.)

*affiliate links included

6 Tips for C-Section Recovery

Oliver is 4 weeks old today which means I had my c-section 28 days ago! I still have some time to fully recover but am feeling so much stronger and more mobile. Today, I am sharing 4 tips that have helped me the most so far and 2 plans I have for my recovery in the future.

1. Pain Medication Schedule: Before I checked out of the hospital, a nurse informed me that many patients experience a decline in their comfort once they return home because they forget to take their medication on time. Even though she warned me about this, I was no exception. I forgot to take my meds on time the first few days and was in so much pain at one point that my entire body was shaking. My midwife made a house visit and noticed how much I was suffering. She encouraged me to take my medication that minute and took the initiative to write a new schedule out for me that I kept by my bedside. I didn’t want a ton of phone alarms which is why I chose a handwritten schedule, but phone alarms are definitely a wonderful option as well if you prefer it! Staying on top of my pain management was essential the first few weeks and I’m so grateful she helped me get back on track. I definitely recommend preparing for this in advance so that you don’t slip out of your medication routine once you get home. 

2. Stool Softeners: In addition to the pain meds, don’t forget to take the stool softeners! I also recommend incorporating natural alternatives to add in like prune juice, celery juice, and a magnesium supplement. I noticed a huge difference once I began taking Magnesium Citrate so I’m linking the one I purchased here (affiliate). Be sure to check in with your health practitioner before adding in any supplements! Prior to my c-section, I never had major surgery before, so I had no idea that surgery could slow down your bowels. My original prescription was out of stock at Walgreens Pharmacy and I didn’t have access to my stool softeners until I called the doctor to get an alternative option a few days later. I had a few VERY painful poops and it was truly a nightmare. Be sure to stay on top of taking the prescribed stool softeners, along with the natural alternatives, until your body returns to normal. 

3. Prepare to Have Help: Postpartum help is essential for any new parent, but especially for those who have a c-section delivery. Mario and I asked his mom to help us for the first few weeks in advance and she was able to come the day after we got home from the hospital. She stayed with us for several days the first two weeks and we truly couldn’t have had a smooth transition without her. She cooked for us, helped us clean, changed diapers, and watched Oliver while he napped so we could rest. She was also there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on and helped me get up from the couch or bed whenever I needed it. Her support made a world of difference and I recommend asking for help from a friend or family member for the first 2-3 weeks because it’s really hard to do it all on your own as a couple. 

4. Rest as Much as You Can: Prior to giving birth, all of my birthing classes emphasized how important rest was during recovery. My midwives in particular recommended 7 days IN the bed, 7 days ON the bed, and 7 days NEAR the bed. I followed these instructions and have been resting as much as I could. I had to get used to napping when the baby slept but even a month into recovery, I still take 1 nap while he sleeps almost daily. Sleep is essential for our bodies under regular circumstances, but especially when we go through a big change like childbirth whether it’s a vaginal or c-section delivery. I plan on continuing to take it very easy until I have my 6-week appointment and get an update from my doctor. 

5. Belly Binder: When I was still hoping for a vaginal delivery, I planned on wearing a belly binder daily. Belly binders are common for c-section recovery as well and one nurse even offered to give me one to wear in the hospital, but I found it so uncomfortable that fresh into my recovery. I initially still planned on wearing one regularly, just not that soon. That was until the discharge nurse told me that belly binders don’t actually make your abs stronger and that it’s better to only wear on for more strenuous activity. So I haven’t worn one thus far in my recovery, but plan on wearing one once I start taking my long daily walks again or begin running errands. To fully recover from a c-section can take 3-4 months so I want to be sure I have the additional support when I become more active and really need it.

6. Scar Massage: I haven’t started this yet, but I was recently reading about how massaging the area around your incision can help the recovery process. It was recommended to begin after 6 weeks when the body has had more time to heal so I will likely check in with my doctor before I begin this. However, I feel it could be very beneficial to the healing process. The area surrounding my incision is still a bit numb and my understanding is that it can take a while to regain full sensation. I want to be sure my scar tissue doesn’t remain stagnant and plan on incorporating scar massages regularly once it’s safe!

These are a few key factors that have helped me a lot this past month along with some plans I have for the future. Whether you have a scheduled c-section or an unplanned one, I hope some of these tips can help improve your recovery experience!

First Trimester Story and Recap

The news is out! Mario and I are expecting our first bundle of joy. I consider myself to be a pretty open person and it was a difficult secret to keep. In celebration of hitting the 13-week mark, we finally shared the news with the world. I read mixed messages online whether the second trimester begins at 13 weeks or 14 weeks. I recently hit the 14-week mark and in lieu of wrapping up my first trimester, I wanted to share our story thus far. 

I have been obsessed with babies and have wanted to be a mother ever since I can remember. When I was a kid, I envisioned myself being an OBGYN because I wanted to help birthers deliver babies. I watched TLC’s A Baby Story every single day after elementary and middle school. I even pretended that my Barbie dolls were pregnant by stuffing their stomachs. I was an only child for 10 years and I wanted a sibling so bad that in preschool I lied to my teachers that my mom was pregnant. When my siblings on my father’s side were finally born, I was over the moon! It’s safe to say I have always gravitated towards pregnancy, birth, and children.

I have yearned to be a mom for a long, long time. I turned 30 in March and had been telling Mario that I either wanted to be engaged, married, or pregnant by this time for a few years. I had no idea that Mario planned on proposing in August and felt like I couldn’t wait any longer to try for a baby. I had a fear that it was going to be difficult for me to become pregnant because it’s something I wanted so badly. A month before Mario popped the question, we decided to begin trying for a baby. I started tracking my cycles, taking prenatals, and checking my basal body temperature first thing when I woke up in the morning. For those who don’t know, your basal body temperature rises slightly when you are ovulating! I didn’t end up getting pregnant the first month and honestly, I was devastated. A few weeks later, Mario asked me to marry him during a vacation in Joshua Tree, and then I wasn’t sure if we should keep trying. After some debate, we decided to try until my cycle ended and if I wasn’t pregnant we would shift our focus to the wedding. Low and behold, the following month the pregnancy test was positive. I was very surprised and felt like it was meant to be.

Pregnancy begins the first day of your last cycle, so on the first day of your missed period, a pregnant person is considered 4 weeks along. Although I knew I was pregnant right away because of a missed period and positive pregnancy test, I didn’t feel any symptoms until I was 5 weeks and 5 days when mild nausea began. Thankfully, the nausea has been very manageable as long as I eat and stay hydrated. I also had an increase in hunger, fatigue, and gas (insert blushing emoji). I’m very grateful that my symptoms haven’t been extreme thus far. 

Our first ultrasound was at 9 weeks. I decided to opt for a local birth center and Mario was able to come with me to see the baby for the first time. We got a basic ultrasound and weren’t able to hear the heartbeat at our confirmation appointment, but we saw the heart, and the baby was moving a lot! The following day, I had an appointment at a hospital to set up some blood tests. My hospital visit was vastly different from our birth center visit. I felt much more stressed and anxious. My appointment lasted over 2.5 hours and I had to go alone because of the COVID-19 restrictions which made me feel like I had to make important decisions on my own and under pressure. I felt like my hospital visit instilled a lot of fear and doubt rather than empowering me. It reinforced my decision to choose a birth center as my primary provider during this pregnancy because I feel the midwives allow parents to advocate for themselves and respect their decisions much more than traditional hospitals. 

Although we are both in our 30’s, I was very nervous to share the news with our families and we waited until the week of Thanksgiving when I was around 11 weeks, going on 12 weeks. Mario and I have been together since 2016, but we are engaged and not married yet, so I wasn’t sure how they would feel. I was very relieved that they were very excited and equally surprised. We were even able to film some of our closest family member’s reactions which was so special. I’ll link the Pregnancy Announcement video here in case you missed it!

Overall, the first trimester was pretty easy going and I’m excited to share this journey with you all! If you want to learn more about the first part of my pregnancy story be sure to visit my First Trimester Q&A video. I will keep you updated on how the second trimester goes as well.