Happy Holidays… Or Are They?! Opening Up About the Holiday Blues.

For many years, the holiday season was difficult for me. The irony is, in an ideal scenario, I love spending time with loved ones and curating thoughtful gifts. For several years in a row, I felt sad around special days like Thanksgiving and Christmas for a few different reasons. The biggest sore point was that I didn’t have the best relationship with people I was once close with. There were a few other factors that made me feel like somewhat of a grinch, but not being able to spend the holidays with the ones I loved hurt the most. It has been an uphill battle, but in recent years, my feelings around this time of the year have begun to improve.

These last few years, I have become more open and enthusiastic about celebrating the holidays again. I have slowly begun rebuilding relationships and creating new ones. A big part of why I feel safe enough to be excited this time of the year is because I finally have my own little family with Mario, Rosie, and baby on the way. I think a lot of what stopped me from feeling festive before was fear and anticipation of disappointment. It hurt to see others around me so happy and busy while I felt lonely.

The holidays can be difficult for many reasons, especially this year with the pandemic. For the majority, it seems to be a joyful and generous time, but it’s not possible for everyone. This year, with the COVID-19 restrictions and safety precautions, I predict that these feelings may be amplified for some who are unable to spend quality time with the ones they love. 

If you’re having a hard time this holiday season, I recommend focusing on self-care. This looks different for everyone, but for me, it includes eating yummy food, resting, and crying it out. It’s important to sit with your emotions but to also work through them. At times when I feel down, I isolate myself. However, I’ve learned that what we often need is a safe and comforting space to express our emotions. If you’re feeling lonely, do your best to not isolate yourself, and instead open up to someone you trust whether it be a friend, family member, therapist, or counselor. Being able to share how we feel with someone we trust makes it easier to overcome feelings of sadness and loneliness. It’s also important to know that you aren’t alone and many others may be feeling the same way even if they don’t express it.

The end of the year is a time for reflection- to take the time to see how much we’ve grown and what we’ve learned. 2020 has been one of the toughest years we’ve seen this decade, but it’s almost over and soon we will be turning a new leaf. I always look forward to celebrating the New Year because I have a chance to leave the former year behind and start fresh. I have had my fair share of difficult times, but I’ve learned that resilience is key. No matter how difficult life can get, I always believe that it’s possible for things to improve, and that’s what I hold onto during the holiday blues.

How to Prepare for your First Plant Based or Vegan Holiday Season

Thanksgiving 2018 was my first holiday on a plant based diet. I developed chronic illness and extreme allergies last year and had my first flareup August 1, 2018. Before I got sick, I was primarily a vegetarian for several months. Shortly after,  I opted to cut all animal products out of my diet because I ate A LOT of cheese which resulted in a high fat diet and I felt that a lot of my underlying health issues were due to inflammation. When a person eats too much fat it is difficult for our body to process and cleanse, therefore, I made the choice to change my ways. Although I was committed to eating healthier long term, at times I struggled in social settings.

The holidays, and any gathering with loved ones, often revolves around food. As a new vegan, the holiday season can be a stressful time because you are just learning how to navigate a new diet and lifestyle. Flexitarians often use scenarios like holiday meals or parties as a time to give in to eating animal products, but if you are truly committed to a plant based lifestyle I have curated a list of tips to help you get through your first holiday season a little easier.

Offer to Host

Last year, Mario and I decided to host our own intimate Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas lunch. We had my mom over for Thanksgiving and his parents over for Christmas. If you are worried about not having anything to eat at your family dinner or holiday party, I think this is a great option because you are in complete control of the setting. Mario and I both have food allergies and we love to cook so it was a natural choice for us. When we hosted my mom we made mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, green beans, sweet potato soup, and had a side of gluten free vegan bread. When Mario’s parents came over we made our favorite spicy bean soup which was a hit!

Eat Beforehand and Bring Extra Food

For those who do not feel hosting is an option, I recommend eating before you head to the holiday gathering and perhaps even preparing some extra food to bring for yourself and for others to try. This is a great way to satisfy your belly without feeling like you’re missing out and showing your loved ones that vegan food is delicious and accessible. For example, Mario and I will be spending Thanksgiving with his family this year and we decided to cook some staple options for us and others to enjoy. We are making a large pot of vegan mashed potatoes with coconut milk, sautéed green beans and mushrooms with garlic, cranberry sauce, and a pumpkin pie. We will likely purchase an allergy friendly vegan pumpkin pie that is available at Whole Foods. Each of these meal options are on theme for the holiday season and are pretty easy to make while still being flavorful. If you are unable to cook in advance, I recommend preparing yummy snacks to munch on for the duration of the event. 

Be Prepared to Explain Yourself, but Don’t Get Too Deep

If your whole family or all of your friends eat animal products and this is the first time you’ve made a change like this, your loved ones may have a lot of questions or concerns. They may ask why, wonder if you’re getting enough nutrition or protein, or even make fun of your choices. Their questions or comments can be very uncomfortable when you are the center of attention and everyone is waiting for a response. Therefore, I suggest to keep the answers simple. Personally, I don’t think a holiday celebration is right the time to get deep into justifying your reasoning for transforming your diet and lifestyle- especially if they are not receptive to it. There are so many reasons one may choose not to consume animal products: to better their health, for the well being of our planet, because they love animals, or a combination of these reasons. Regardless of why you chose to make the change, I would answer as simply as possible and leave it at that. I feel it's important to give honest answers, but keep the explanations short. It may take them a while to warm up to the idea and many people are genuinely curious, but just don’t understand because it’s such a foreign concept to them. Answering genuine curiosity with patience and kindness will open the door and hopefully later you can have deeper conversations about your new diet and lifestyle.

I hope you find these tips useful for your first holiday season on a plant based or vegan diet! I struggled to find ways to work around social settings in the beginning and implementing these three concepts have helped me a lot over the past year. Wishing you a cozy holiday season filled with lots of love and yummy food!