I went on a deleting rampage on my Instagram feed and wanted to reshoot the dress I got while working with Unseen Addiction back in December (check out my feature here). I had been yearning to revisit Balmy Alley and decided my blush tones would complement the scene well.
Setting the Mood
I shot these photos during Women’s Month (March) - just a week or so before the Women’s Protest. I had simultaneously been studying different art and poetic forms in school. In turn, the graffiti and murals had me feeling “some type of way." I was discussing one of the photos with my boyfriend and he said something that struck me, “you’re in an alley, you’re holding onto your bag, it makes sense." The combination of these factors inspired me to write the following poem:
Do you know what it's like to hold on tight?
To fear for your life while walking at night?
And during the day because regardless of the hour- you're hounded like prey
Do you know what it's like to fear the person walking behind you and to your right?
While anxiously holding your pepper spray- gripping it tight
You grip your bag and hide your eyes in disguise
For hopes you won't be recognized
You wish to be invisible- a ghost, but only for a moment
The moment you fear for your life the most
Do you know what it's like to be a modern woman in a patriarchal world?
To be catcalled
And forced to swallow your pride whole
Stripped naked with the male gaze while you're fully clothed?
I am a woman and this is my soul's demise
To always be in the sight of an Evil Eye
I have strong feelings about catcalling and felt that Women's Month was the perfect time to address an issue that is deep rooted between the sexes. When I was in seventh grade, my mother told me, "Honey, it doesn't matter if you wear sweatpants, men are still going to check you out." As an adult, I have learned that her statement is proven to be true.
I despise that in "modern society", I am expected to accept this as a fact of life. I hate that avoiding eye contact and dismissing such behavior still leaves me feeling violated. Sometimes when the mood strikes, I'll say "something," but realistically I cannot confront every strange man that makes me uncomfortable. I have been told that modesty is the best deterrent to unwanted gazes, yet even the times I abide by these restrictions, men still act similarly. It has made me question how to make a larger impact and further prevent this from happening in the long term:
1. Stating it on a large platform, like the internet, is one way
2. Supporting other feminists (personally and business-wise) is another
3. And one day raising my children to think critically about related issues early on
These may seem small or mediocre ways, but a small drop of water can create a large ripple. And perhaps I will think of grander ways in the future.
I love nude midis, but sometimes nude dresses wash me out or aren’t flattering against my fair skin. This style is a high on my list of necessities, yet I am often left with few options. I was delighted this oatmeal shade worked well. I especially love the turtleneck feature and overall length. Recently, I've been attracted to monochromatic looks and decided to style a matchy-matchy outfit around the Lush dress.
A nude palette is one of my favorite's because the illusion creates sex appeal. I balanced out the misleading color combination by bundling with several layers and wearing a dress that falls at the knee. I paired the dress with my blush Shein lapel coat and Restricted booties. A while back, I vowed to add more brown shoes to my wardrobe because I primarily own black. Although these are not a true brown, I still consider these a win. They have some chocolate detailing and aid in lightening up my accessory options which is the ultimate goal.